City Dweller With A Love For Dining Out T-Shirts

"This is a terrible table!"

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'We don't 'skimp' on the pour, sir; we're just generous with the glass.'

"Don't you just hate restaurants that make you feel rushed?"

"Which wine would you pair with the complimentary bread and butter?"

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

'In case of fire, don't panic, pay your bill then run like hell.'

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

'George, you're supposed to be tasting the wine, not seeing what effect it has.'

Man Trying to Uncork Champagne.

"....and hold the garlic."

'Oops! It's usually the devil to get any to come out!'

'I know you'll find this hard to believe but I am actually a self made man.'

"Would madam like to sniff the resealable cap?"

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

"Ah — excellent catsup."

Snow & Flo series: Wedding guests.

Long Corkscrew

Waiter does not want to see customer make bubbles in his wine.

"I realize your steak was tough but you didn't have to make such a stink about it."

"This is a big wine. I recommend you order some big food."

'What do you recommend?.' 'A big tip.'

Three people view wine price 3 ways.

'We've been enjoying the ambiance for 20 minutes. Now we'd like to enjoy some service.'

'I asked for a rare steak and you certainly don't see many as BAD as this!'

"I'll have the catch of the day."

"And what would you like to regret later?"

"Good evening, Sir. I’m Ian, your server with a serious attitude."

"And how is the 'medium' salmon you had me overcook?!"

"Well, actually, Colin, while I don't really have much to kvell about, on the other hand neither do I have much to kvetch about."

"Bring us your dustiest bottle of wine."

"Harold, please -- the wine steward is entitled to his opinion, too."