Citrus Detective T-Shirts

"A lemon tree, my dear Watson."

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"First Lady Lettuce goes missing, then Colonel Crouton followed by Reginald Radish... Great Caesar's Ghost! Someone is making a salad!"

Try to guess the continent dining...

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"He was WOK-ing in a winter wonderland."

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

Mother to son, regarding stolen cake: 'I don't need to check anything with 'the boys in forensics' I know it was you.'

'That strange smell, George.. is FRESH AIR!'

'Look, I know it's artificial orange, but you're sick, I say, sick.'

'True it does have small flowers but through the microscope its exquisite.'

"Mother! How? Wait — where’s Dad?!"

The Huge-Underground Vat theory of why all wonton soup tastes exactly the same.

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

I'm getting an ample full taste... I'm getting whimsical... I'm getting 'red'

So those are your 'weapons of mass destruction? - Slugs?

'Another sad case of an over dose on uncut sugar cereal.'

Who stole my candy?

"What the heck did I do with that leftover turkey?!"

"...I should have seen it coming...The busboys, the waiters, the dishwashers, the maitre d', all stealing shrimp, caviar, lobster, but ah, the strawberries, that's where I had them?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

Getting Rid of the Cure

'Turn right at the Robinia pseudoacacia, pass the garden with the salvia officinalis, cross the road when you see the stranvaesia davidinia and the pub is on the left!'

Kid selling lemonade has a picture of the founder: himself

The Last Days of a Hydrangea

Turkey Autopsy

"There's a house-plant round here somewhere."

"Time! Ladies and gentlemen please, for yet another probe into the brewing industry"

'It's nice to meet you Otto. Your scent precedes you.'

"Are there any reports of illness at this table?"

"'Tofu'? Qu'est-ce que c'est 'tofu'?"

'I say we back off: I can't smell fear at all...'

The History of Anti-stick

"Uh-oh,...she smells another dog in my portfolio..."