Citizen Critic Gifts

Gridlock Valley

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Reading my Critics

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Your usually vicious sarcasm is weak. Go pump some irony."

"Never mind, Harry. Just remember, the 'Saturday Review' loved it."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Heads up! It's another tidal wave of overwrought critical hyperbole!"

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

'It's cutting edge theatre.'

A man on a giant book poses as Rodin's The Thinker.

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'I take it that the birthday cake is for this old trout you just served me?'

The new Physics

'He knows everything about art. But he doesn't know what he likes.'

"It has great depth, realized with such a unique economy of paint application... yet, there remains a curious aura of drivel I can't dismiss."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

"Thank you, Mr. Mulvaney, but what we're really looking for is someone with talent."

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'

Constructive Criticism 50c.

Dog writes a review: 'A sublime book, I devoured it in one sitting ...'

"Your mom's not protesting sex and violence on TV...she's taking a stand against those early Christmas ads..."

"Now this is what I call an honest little pub!"

"About your tax refund—would you like to donate it to help pay off the national debt?"

Caveman sees comment section below cave drawings,

Infected Macron

"You'll never believe who's here."

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

The Algonquin Round Table

Entering Washington, DC. Today's Polticial Atmosphere is TOXIC.