Citation Seeker Gifts

Struggling Scientist, Please cite my papers.

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Likes: $2.

"If it doesn't happen on Facebook, it didn't happen."

I put a picture of my lunch on Facebook, and nobody hit "like." Who doesn't like Slim Jims and beer?

Booster shots

Computer: 'There are some things it is better not to know.'

"Various entrances to the gates of Hell."

'You have no idea how hard I've gotta work just to maintain my indie cred around here!'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Wikipedia...

'I'm afraid the numbers don't lie Norton, we're definitely nerds.'

Ballet School - Ring For Attention.

We have a problem with your research. We're Encyclopedia Britannica and you're Wikipedia.

"Attention, wanna-be son-in-law ... we're losing!"

Giorgio A. Tsoukalos - Ancient Aliens

"I want more than anonymous sex. I want anonymous intimacy."

'Hey guys?. . . Help us think what Dale could do for his '15 minutes of fame.''

Danae's Celebrity Career: 'I don't know where to begin in deciding what I want to be when I grow up...I want people to shut and leave me alone, and I need lots of attention, so...'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'I've figured out why bad things happen to good people.'

'We call it the 'Tomato Surprise' because the chef tinkered with the DNA a little.'

Vaccine hurdles

Down With Wikipedia

Spelling a newspaper

'I always feel at the end of the day I could've taken credit for more.'

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'I'm afraid we can't make it. Harry just finished watching Meet the Press, C-Span, Face the Nation, Fox News Sunday, the Sunday Times, Newsweek, Time...'

"I'd like to thank my family, but, to be honest, I'm pretty sure I could've done it without them."

"Another organization has already researched this, but I'm afraid that if we use it, we won't get as much credit."

"Some genetic engineers we turned out to be!"

2022

"We wish we could drink the water."