Circus Comedy Collector Pillows

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Build your very own conflict of interest!

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

Banana Split...

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

E-Baying @ The Moon

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Turtle Hat

Filet minion

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"The Eggsorcist"

Snowmobull

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

A trevor of trainspotters

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Whose the new guy?"

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

"What do you mean, there's no room for my stuff?"

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

Rent a Room With Hot Water