Circus Comedy Collector Gifts

'This is the part I hate most - he's got terrible bad breath !'

Occu-Pie Mars

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

'You've got bats alright...now we'll just have to determine what kind.'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

'What did one flea ask the other?' 'Shall we walk or take the dog?'

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Banana Split...

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

Snowmobull

"The Eggsorcist"

E-Baying @ The Moon

Turtle Hat

'Rover isn't any good at catching frisbees. You've heard of stone hands?...he's got a stone mouth.'

Filet minion

'Big sale at the Dog Store. Buy 1, get 2 free.'

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Crushing empty beer cans is for wimps.'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

A trevor of trainspotters

'I reckon we need a new sweeper.'

"Whose the new guy?"

Bernie the Monday morning quarterback meets David the Monday morning linebacker.

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

What happened when the bond issues failed during the building of the Great Wall of China: The Great Picket Fence of China.

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

An Extraordinary Pointer

'ANYTHING to get down the ruddy boozer!'

The embarrassment of mistaking a salon for a saloon.

'I don't like to brag, but I'm the guy who coined the phrase, 'Honey, I'm Home'.'

'I'm SECRET Santa, kid.'

Rent a Room With Hot Water