Cinematic Sapling T-Shirts

"You like it? We purchased the fourth wall from 'Westworld'."

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Department of Theatre, Film and Television: Lights...Camera...Unemployment!

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

"Remind me: Is it the New York Critics Award or the Sundance Audience Prize that always lets us down?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

"Say hello to my little friend."

The star hunters

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Candid Camera store.

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

"I witnessed something I can never unsee." "What happened, little buddy?" "Some guy walking out of the 'Wolverine' premiere shouted spoilers to the crowd that was waiting to see the second show." "A bunch of the fans who were dressed in costumes got so angry they attacked him." "I don't think I can ever unsee five Pyros and a Colossus beating a Happy Hogan with plastic flamethrowers." "Happy Hogan had it coming."

"I want you to know that emotion overrode reason."

"At some point, there's only so high you can raise the volume before you admit you're never gonna understand what British detectives are saying."

'...And now, the film most criticized for eroding traditional family values, the nominees are...'

"I feel a great disturbance in The Force."

'Action!...Cut!...Right, everything else is CGI'

"I'm glad they want comedy... the budget is a joke."

'Dad, would you ming standing up, then accidentally tripping on the dog and falling flat on your face? I'll try to get it in one shot.'

"Not fair! Being really into movies is my thing!"

"Fangul." Italian sausage.

Star Wars Audience

'So no animals were harmed in that movie...but how about the audience?!'