Cinema Professor Gifts

"I did not ram Preston Sturges down their throats."

Maureen Paula O'Sullivan caricature

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"For the best picture not having won anything thereby being eliminated from this category..."

Screenwriters pitch movie to studio boss: 'It's a reinterpretation of Bicycle Thieves, that classic of Italian neo-realism. We're calling it, Dude, Where's My Chopper?'

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"I kid you not, blood was oozing from the walls! Unfortunately, it was fake: I had stumbled on the set of a horror movie..."

Herman Mankiewicz

"We just watched a hypermovie!"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

Ernie Studios. Hi, Ernie. What movies are you working on? We have a script about astronauts marooned on a planet filed with talking gorillas who are in hard economic times. I think I'll call it "The Apes of Wrath"! We're casting "Reignman." The central character is a savant monarch. And we're filming a movie about a suburban town populated by women with strange, long hair ... It's called "The Stepford Weaves."

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

Horror movies

'This should be perfect. The main characters fall in love during a series of explosions.'

Working in the Hazard Zone!

Cut!

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

"Bloody hell!"

'There's nothing on.'

"That was totally....what's the word I'm looking for?"

"Housekeeping?!"

"Gone with the wind with cats" "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn." "Me neither, who cares—let's take a nap."

Waiter, what's this fly doing in my soup? A scene from an Esther Williams movie.

"The Eggsorcist"

"...You talking to me? Well, I'm the only one here... You talking to me?!" "Narcissus De Niro"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

What's an Imax cave?

"I hurt a lot of people during my last twelve steps."

'Well, now we know why Dracula's been getting all the girls lately.'

'Play it again, Sam.'

"Hugh fans!"