Church Sound Lovers Gifts

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Hildegard von Bingen

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

"I'll stop when I'm good and ready to."

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

R.C.I.A.

God is for life not just for Christmas.

"Since you're into burnt offerings you should come over some Sunday for one of her special dinners."

"Pastor Bob is the leader of the flock, son, not the herd."

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

Angry vicar wakes up parishioner at the Harvest Festival

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

Four Chanting Monks

"Attendance is down again this morning. If we want to continue calling ourselves a congregation, we're going to have to congregate."

'Our worship space is quite large, Roger, but sanctuary committee will do nicely.'

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

'I'm dreading the World Cup . . .'

"10,000 members or not, the Pastor should at least remember my name."

Hallelujah!

Framed dollar in church secretary office says 'Our First Offering'

Churchwarden Talking to Rector

Pope Francis

Choirboy

'How well you did it will determine whether it's 'as good as done', Father.'

Heavenly voices.

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

Vicar

'Page 37 in your hymnals and selection #15 on your iPods.'

"Although the collection plate appears to be half full, our accountant assures me that it is half empty."

"Oh, hi Pastor, I figured I didn't need to go to church - I ALREADY felt guilty."

A group of women concerned about a priest climbing a ladder

Using dogs as greeters at church was a failed experiment.