Church Lover Gifts

'Our friends are getting married while scuba diving 10,000 leagues under the sea, or while jumping from a plane at 35,000 feet ,or while wild riding horses, so we thought we'd be different and get married in a church.'

The world welcomes Pope Francis I

Love in Church

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

Early Piety

Hildegard von Bingen

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

Priest

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Verger Works

'Let us pray...'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"Bible lessons are best taught in the context of faith. There's no need to add 'based on a true story.'"

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"First time visitors should always check the seating chart before entering the sanctuary."

"That's our new church mascot."

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"I have an app for that."

"No, the Trinity is not the Father, The Son, and the Preacher's wife."

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

Pastor's Bumper Sticker: Save the Congregation

CCTV in church.

Baptism Then and Now

"Sorry I'm late. I had to get a tattoo removed"

'Father James, I slept with Father Henry from next parish... Is that a sin?' - 'Of course!! You belong to my parish!'