Church Politics Pillows

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

Conclave.

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

Corruption in the Vatican.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"That's our new church mascot."

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'Let us pray...'

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

The ten ammendments