Church Issues Pillows

'These are our 'problems emeritus'.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

'Let us pray...'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sermon Applause.

The Sleeping Congregation.

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

The ten ammendments

Wanna talk about it?

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

United Church of OMG