Church Issues T-Shirts

'These are our 'problems emeritus'.'

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Bless me father, for I have sinned...my brother did it.'

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

We're willing to flee temptation, if we can leave a forwarding address.

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'Let us pray...'

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'It's not as picturesque as the old steeple but it's saving a fortune in electricity bills!'

United Church of OMG

"Nice to see you replenishing the font with holy water vicar."

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

Sermon Applause.

The Sleeping Congregation.

SF NO

Wanna talk about it?

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.