Church Politics Prints

'Transistional Pope. Is that nice way of saying they hope he doesn't live too long?'

Conclave.

'Fourteenth century church, fourteenth century views.'

Corruption in the Vatican.

"Samson was the best actor in the bible - he brought the house down!"

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

Two Men Discuss Ministers.

"Freshly ground pepper?"

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

'Let us pray...'

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"That's our new church mascot."

Michelangelo is painting the Sistine Chapel ceiling and a priest comes to check how he's going - 'Michelangelo, what the hell is that? I just wanted a couple of coats of duck-egg blue!'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

"As a child of the pastor, did you stop and think that just because you can belch the books of the Bible, should you?"