Church Choir Mugs

Goodwill To All Men - and Bankers!

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'So it's with a heavy heart that I leave you good people of St. Paul's and accept the calling to be minister at the Sunnydell Nudist Colony...'

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Hildegard von Bingen

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Whose idea was it to start with the Hallelujah chorus?"

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

"The 'Sing Only in the Shower' Community Chorus"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'I'm told you've been born again, again and again. . . ?'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

"Freshly ground pepper?"

"Life is very fragile so we should handle it with 'prayer'."

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

Clown Ministry Baptism Today

"Call me 'pops' one more time and I'll lace 'ya one!"

'Let us pray...'

Verger Works

"Are there any here today who feel this union is not in the best interests of baseball?"

'It's good to see you, Mr. McWit, but you do realize that today is neither Christmas or Easter?'

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

'Due to our failure to secure a holiday-relief organisty, the next hymn will also be sung to the tune of Chopsticks.'

'We're going to start this week's sermon with a review of the basics....'

How's my sermon. . .

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

Sermon Applause.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

United Church of OMG

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'