Church Bells Gifts

Monk Synth Bell Ringers

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"We missed you at church Sunday."

"As a member of the Sunday praise team you are not allowed to "change it up", whenever you feel led."

"It would be great if you could turn the smoke machine down a little during worship..."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

A woman in prayer

"Ding" "Dong"

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

'But why do we have to plough the fields and scatter when we get everything from Tesco?'

'And if it ain't baroque, don't fix it.'

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"If she has the voice of an angel I sure hope the others drown her out."

"...And please let at least one person admire my new hat!"

"I don't see why divine intervention and government intervention have to be mutually exclusive."

"Bob, you've been warned before. You can't come to prayer just to gather gossip material."

'This is for the V.A.T.- the Vicar's Autumn Treat!'

Four Chanting Monks

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'I really can't think of a blessed thing to preach about this morning, so I'll entertain questions from the floor.'

Hallelujah!

"Give us this day our daily bread..."

'Doesn't ring any bells...'

"Maybe all spirit filled meetings should be held outside to avoid setting off the sprinklers."

Cathedral Made Safe.

Arrow Church

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"I hear Presbyterian is the new Methodist."

Keyboard in Front of a Organ

'We finally nailed down where our congregation's priorities lie!'

Heavenly voices.

Ding and Dong.

"First, you have to get their attention."

'Is this seat saved?' Fundamentalism Gone Awry.