Chuckling At Dark Humor T-Shirts

'Good news and bad...good, we can use you as spare parts for other people...'

"Ooh, I must sit down - I'm dead on my feet!"

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Men looking at black screen, "I call it film noir"

'... And this is my cellar.'

Out To Lurch

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

Dead Funny

Another day at work would be one too many...

'Alright, which one of you wise guys pulled the fire alarm?'

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"Just give me your wallet. Trust me, you do not want to deal with my misplaced sense of entitlement."

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"The boss likes people with strong convictions. You're hired."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

The practical psychopath

Pastries and Candy

"Waiter, there's a weapon of mass destruction in my soup!"

Zombies.

"Housekeeping?!"

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"I thought you wanted me to change."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"The Eggsorcist"

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

"Where do you see yourself in 20 to 25 years?"

Man cutting hedge next to two heads impaled on sticks. Signs beneath say 'You missed a bit' and 'You can do mine next'.

End the Winter Blues

"In hindsight, we shouldn't have had him cremated."