Chuckles Chaser Gifts

He wasn't talking about baseball, Ernie ... He said "in the beginning", no "In the Big Inning".

"I've come across a rather disturbing find, Carstairs!"

"Yep, I've read this chapter before."

'Satchel, I have just had a revelation.'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

"Let's try for dignified yet playful, while maintaining the spirit of preservation."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'The Saxon King' pub

"I'm ready for summer vacation! A good book takes you where you've never been!"

Letter writing lady.

'This New Year you will be bathed in a sea of cash!...Hand on...Sorry. This New Year you will need a flea bath for some sort of rash.'

"You never laugh at my jokes... "

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

Tango

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

"Ah! I see you've found a cold beer to your liking, sir."

'Diet? Yeah I'm on a prop's diet...pies,chips,burgers and coke!'

Fortune teller describes to angler the size of the fish he's going to catch.

'Why don't we slip into something a little more comfortable...like the leisure section.'

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."

'Laughter is the best medicine, so read this joke book three times a day after meals.'

Box of Tissues

"You get your money back if your don't get laid in seven days."

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

Becky Thornmorton: The most popular girl at Central High's annual Easter egg hunt.

'Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?'

'I just want to warn you if you buy this, you may never again know if people like you for you or your corvette.'

"Do you mind if I chase a few practice balls first?"

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

Cupid

"Do you folks ever get up North?"

Mr. Winter blast returns.

Martial arts man chops bricks for workmen

"I'm on Fendi and Prada, and heading toward Louis."