Chuckle-inducing Companion Lover Gifts

'Need money, don't make me beg!'

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

Not waiting for someday to look back on this and have a good laugh.

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Unlike the case for dogs, the people that cats own don't grow to look like them. I mean, seriously, what human could look as good as this?"

Love is Love

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Children playing with scissors in the nursery

'And to think that only yesterday I was a lonely scientist and you were a failed experiment!'

"If an election were held tomorrow, which party would you vote for?" "The wine and cheese party."

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

'The teddy bear and blankie are the only sleep aids the doctor had that aren't addictive.'

I'm beginning to think that my wit and Erudition is wasted on you

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

"Good morning, world!"

"No-one nit picks like you..."

"What they hell are we looking at."

"We learned about the 10 commandments, but I bet my parents will add a few of there own!"

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

"McWit relies on that dog too much."

"Okay, I'm sitting up. What's up?"

Graves: Ernest Moss Ventriloquists. . . 'Georgie'