Chuckle-inducing Companion Lover Gifts

'Need money, don't make me beg!'

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

Your spirit animal is a balloon poodle? My spirit animal is a balloon poodle!

Thank you to those who never came home and to those who never left their side.

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

"We have to stop meeting like this – people are starting to talk ‘psychiatric ward.’"

"The saving grace of living with someone who has AD/HD is that any arguments you have over it never last very long."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

Not waiting for someday to look back on this and have a good laugh.

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

"The words 'complete screwball' are not in my vocabulary."

"Did I say Henny Youngmen? I meant to say Sergei Prokofiev."

A man shoots at a drone.

"Unlike the case for dogs, the people that cats own don't grow to look like them. I mean, seriously, what human could look as good as this?"

'Whatever happened to that platoon of GIs you used to pretend to be at bedtimes?'

Love is Love

Sinlge-white-male seeking single-female who enjoys, silence, long long walks, and scorpions.

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

"It's our fault. We put out milk & cookies and now we can't get rid of him."

Children playing with scissors in the nursery

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

'And to think that only yesterday I was a lonely scientist and you were a failed experiment!'

"If an election were held tomorrow, which party would you vote for?" "The wine and cheese party."

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"

"Good morning, world!"

"For last meal, I'm thinking unlimited breadsticks, endless shrimp and bottomless coffee."

I'm beginning to think that my wit and Erudition is wasted on you

"What they hell are we looking at."

'The teddy bear and blankie are the only sleep aids the doctor had that aren't addictive.'

"No-one nit picks like you..."

"We learned about the 10 commandments, but I bet my parents will add a few of there own!"

'I can't believe we do this for a living.'

"McWit relies on that dog too much."

Ask Sadie. I'm anxious to have a companion. When will this happen? -Ron from Chicago. *Actual reader questions. Ron, what a coincidence. I am also looking for a companion. Do you give foot rubs, clean the house, do what you're told and keep your frisky hands to yourself?! Your search is over, sweetie bear. Ask Sadie at asksadieshow@gmail.com

'I know you're a deadly sin and everything, but I don't know...I still like hanging around with you anyway.'