Chuckle With Charm Gifts

'You don't understand this letter? It means that your reading comprehension skills are under par. You will have to enroll in remedial courses.'

"It's not face paint. I'm transitioning into a snow leopard."

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'I didn't tell you to 'be quite Frank'. I said,'be quiet, Frank'!'

"I suspect your headaches may be the result of you being exposed to someone with an undiagnosed case of cabin fever."

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

'This prescription will stimulate your funny bone which will cause you to laugh. We both know that laughter is the best medicine.'

'We had to get him a seeing-eye dog.'

Not waiting for someday to look back on this and have a good laugh.

Australian baby with toys hanging from his hat rather than corks

Way too much anthropomorphising

'It's Always 'Good Dog'—Never 'Great Dog.'

"Did I say Henny Youngmen? I meant to say Sergei Prokofiev."

'It's not global warming. It's 'Hot Flashes'.'

'And what can you bring to the party?'

"Of course, you try to raise your kids so they won't need lawyers."

So as you can see, sales were identical in all sectors yet again last year. Peppermint Candies, Inc.

A therapist reads to his patient from a joke book.

Chiropractor jokes.

"Here's one - 'Few-bricks-short-of-a-load seeks One-our-out-of-the-water.'."

'Since light travels faster than sound, is that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?'

Box of Tissues

'He's paralysed from the neck down.'

Mr Briggs's Pleasures of Racing - No. II - IV

Children playing with scissors in the nursery

'Dang, we lost another one...maybe this whole laughter thing is a crock.'

"You see, if we learn to swim upside down, they won't see us coming..."

"If an election were held tomorrow, which party would you vote for?" "The wine and cheese party."

'... and do you, Linda, promise to look up the word 'fellatio' in the dictionary?'

Martial arts man chops bricks for workmen

"I think Wendy likes me... she kept the spitwad I threw at her!"

"Do you mind if I chase a few practice balls first?"

'My credit report. Well - they said it's the lowest ever, but on the flip side I'll be in the Guinness World Record book.'

"Inside I'm a crying hyena."

"We learned about the 10 commandments, but I bet my parents will add a few of there own!"