Chronophiles Gifts

Sundial Time

Men: Hating chick flicks since 1623.

"I think I'm in the wrong kind of spin class!"

Diana Inquest - 'It's time to move on, and start making a TV mini-series of her life.'

Man feeding the birds at the park is eaten alive.

'We are from the planet Condescendia. Take us to your cute little leader.'

Alternative collective animal names

Stopping Time in order to Finish Book

Man in boat sees clock rising in distance instead of the sun.

'Hello, security.'

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

Let's do the continental.

"Really Miss Jones...all this fuss over a silly little spider!"

'All done, ready for bed: I've cleaned his teeth...'

"Great location. Let's check it out."

Rare Book Store: Telephone Directories

"I'll check the minutes of the last meeting, but I've got 'September Revolution' pencilled in."

'Get a grip.'

"Why can't you just be happy for me that I'm going to Paris?"

"Don't kill it. The eat bugs."

"Talk about heaven - eight francs to the buck and old Binky still a chiselled blonde."

Almost Your Time.

'If you can read this, call the missing kids' hotline.'

"Those are the sickos that made a film of Zorg's autopsy!"

"Hey, you know those collective nouns are just a bunch of crap, right?"

'She always has her own way. She even writes her diary a few days in advance.'

'Those who can do; those who can't, chronicle.'

He wouldn't been a great third date, but not quite worth suffering through dates one and two.

'$3000 for a digital hi-def T.V., and there's still nothing on!'

'I finally met a macho, self-assured, good-looking guy, and wouldn't you know it? - He's doing thirty years to life!'

Small man falling in love with large woman

Charging Stashun