Chronicler Gifts

'Those who can do; those who can't, chronicle.'

Jean de Joinville

"My favorite way to start the day...coffee, danish, and a data dump."

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

Wedding Selfie

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

Stopping Time in order to Finish Book

Man in boat sees clock rising in distance instead of the sun.

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

'Nurse Wilhelm will be live-blogging the whole procedure.'

Frontispiece to the second volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

"Chapter One: Call me Scooter..."

'And I'm in constant contact with everyone involved every step of the way... Well, I left a message.'

I keep meaning to write my memoirs, but I never get around to it. It's your "oughta" biography!

'She always has her own way. She even writes her diary a few days in advance.'

'Misery only loves company if the company does't know any specifics.'

'Oops, I've only got fifteen hundred shots left and we still have two full days before we go home.'

'It's the closest thing dogs have to blogging.'

I resent the fact that the only item listed on the menu is soup with a fly in it. I resent the fact that the script calls for me to give you a big smile. It's tough all over. Menu.

'I've got compassionate Conservatism fatigue.'

'Me keep thinking it Wednesday.'

"It' the dog."

Man looks at the bills of mortality in the morning paper and feels unwell

Man drilling in an hour glass.

'How's the video diary coming along?'

"My mother gets a note from the teacher every day. I'll be glad when her subscription expires."

Before it was called the 'Dark Ages'.

'Why do old people always hang around all day in bus shelters?'

"Mind if I journal?"

'You've got that silly blank look again George or someone really has stolen your identity this time!'

'Dear Diary... Still no change...'