Chronicler Of Days Pillows

'She always has her own way. She even writes her diary a few days in advance.'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

''My Summer Vacation †the Untold Story'....'

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'Sorry, this isn't that kind of agency. We determine the age of old fossils, not arrange dates for them.'

"I must have completely lost track of time."

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

Stopping Time in order to Finish Book

Man in boat sees clock rising in distance instead of the sun.

"...But it's only Thursday. I'll be confused all day now."

"She's always writing in that journal of hers. Maybe she'll be a notary public when she grows up."

"...Also, true love is eventually tax deductible."

"I'll check the minutes of the last meeting, but I've got 'September Revolution' pencilled in."

'Nurse Wilhelm will be live-blogging the whole procedure.'

Seemed like winter would never end.

The Original Stonehenge: '...it's just that I hate all the effort to alter the clock twice a year.'

"It's an enduring mystery. How did this extinct species combine such huge brains with such jaw dropping stupidity?"

Tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow...

Small man falling in love with large woman

'Those who can do; those who can't, chronicle.'

I keep meaning to write my memoirs, but I never get around to it. It's your "oughta" biography!

'I finally met a macho, self-assured, good-looking guy, and wouldn't you know it? - He's doing thirty years to life!'

'Misery only loves company if the company does't know any specifics.'

He wouldn't been a great third date, but not quite worth suffering through dates one and two.

'Oops, I've only got fifteen hundred shots left and we still have two full days before we go home.'

Jean de Joinville

'Me keep thinking it Wednesday.'

'I've got compassionate Conservatism fatigue.'

'Have you noticed how our days are getting shorter.'

Man drilling in an hour glass.

"I'm fortyish, forty twelve to be exact"

'How's the video diary coming along?'

"I keep writing Stone Age instead of Bronze Age on all my checks."

'Why do old people always hang around all day in bus shelters?'

"My mother gets a note from the teacher every day. I'll be glad when her subscription expires."