Chronic Snorers Gifts

There's a VERY SIMPLE EXPLANATION. I snore like an alarm clock and my wife mistook my nose for the snooze button.

'The sunglasses idea would have worked if you hadn't started snoring.'

"Yes, in the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight, but he snores!"

"You were snoring."

'Ever notice how when Dad snores the whole house shakes?'

"Now do you believe me that your snoring wakes up the whole neighborhood?"

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

"You go right on snoring, doesn’t bother me one bit. Your snores are beautiful, do you know that? I love snoring…not like some people."

'We have separate bedrooms because I snore and because I can't stand the sight of her.'

'Mrs.Neal, we did everything we could: anglopasty, laser surgery, replaced a valve, put in a shunt. . . Your husband still snores like a musk ox.'

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

"Dad, can you stop snoring?"

'Fritz...Fritz..You're roaring again.'

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

"Yes, you were snoring again."

RIP...snores are coming from the grave.

'Now she's frightened of your snoring...'

'You're snoring in cadence.'

Zzzzzzzzz...

Man says: 'Are you implying that I have a snoring problem?'

Allergy Clinic: Summertime and the Breathing is Wheezy.

"He's a very sound sleeper. When he sleeps he makes all kinds of sounds!"

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

"Some people give TV shows a thumbs up or a thumbs down. My dad gives shows a snoring or no-snoring."

'Actually, the tent is for my wife and the couch is for me when I start snoring.'

Clocks. Why do you want two alarm clocks? Getting up is bad news and I want a second opinion.

'There was a petition to kick me out of the colony at night because I snore...'

'My husband will be a little late getting to the office, but he's on his way.'

Woman reading a article titled 'Dead men don't snore',

'THanks to this noise barrier I don't hear Eddie's snoring any more!'

"Here's the plan. I use white noise to cover your snoring and you use earplugs to cover the white noise."

Solving the Snoring Problem

"You were oinking in your sleep last night."

'My husband must be floating on his back - I can hear him snoring!'

'You snored all night, so now I have to kill you.'