Chronic Resolution Keeper Pillows

"This is a green vegetable, Mom. You wouldn't want me to break a new year's resolution, would you?"

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"...For new year, I'm going to stop watching so much sport..."

"I'll check the minutes of the last meeting, but I've got 'September Revolution' pencilled in."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

Holidays are Here, Think!

'Remember - don't make any New Years resolutions for me!'

"THIS YEAR I'M GOING TO GET IN SHAPE."

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'

"That was fun- we should do New Year's more often."