Chronic Resolution Keeper T-Shirts

"This is a green vegetable, Mom. You wouldn't want me to break a new year's resolution, would you?"

'Never trust emails. You can't shred them.'

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

"I'm trying to gain 10 pounds before midnight so I can keep my resolution to lose 10 pounds next year."

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

"My new year resolutions were to continue eating, drinking, smoking and gambling...and I've stuck to all of them!"

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

'More pictures of your kids. Wow, they've really grown since yesterday.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

A "half-life" is the time it takes for a quantity of a radioactive material to be cut in half by decay. In each successive half-life period, the quantity is halved again. Half-life length varies widely form element to element. Eating healthier is a common new year's resolution. Our data shows breaking this resolution follows a curve like those seen with nuclear decay. As of yesterday about ten percent of those who made the resolution this year are still sticking to it. We calculated the re

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

My New Year's resolution is to be a better person. Very noble. I want to work harder to improve the planet. What's your resolution, mom? Pretty much the same. To be a better-looking person? Hey! It's planetary cleanup. Nan's Hair and Nails.

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I'll check the minutes of the last meeting, but I've got 'September Revolution' pencilled in."

Great ... Thanks to your "calendar" invention, now I have to think of a New Year's resolution.

"...For new year, I'm going to stop watching so much sport..."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

D I E T F We said we'd stick together this time, but we really knew it would only last a day or two.

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"Lookin' good, Frosty!"

'The exercise hasn't been a total failure. My personal trainer lost 10 pounds.'

'I'm here to sign up for a membership since the muscle shirt didn't work.'

Holidays are Here, Think!

How much for rock-hard abs? $200 for a basic six-pack, includes high-intensity training sessions. Lemme think about it. I'll be here. What's going on? The new year's resolutions are trickling in. You're working as a physical trainer now? I got into resolution outsourcing. What? People pay me to fulfill their resolutions. They vow to get in shape, or stop procrastinating, or be more honest about their feelings. I take on the task and then they check it off their list. I know what you're thinking

'Remember - don't make any New Years resolutions for me!'

"This year I'm getting in shape."

"We also offer a plan where you just post pictures and skip the exercise."

'Just thinking about New Year's resolutions makes me tired.'