Chronic Cart Collector T-Shirts

"Let's just get through this first aisle...then we'll discuss your impulse buying."

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'Et tu Yakamoto?'

Zeus's Caddy

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

Scene from 'Night of the Koala'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"Number 2. Step forward please."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

Martin Scorsese Roasts Your Fandom

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

James May

Over-reaction Man.

Acme Flyswatters.

'But, honey, the girl in the bikini only adds to the awesomeness of my car.'

Pre-Bay

'I could only afford a Yo.'

Remote-controlled Popemobile.

Toys Were Me

"Neat Nick!": Tidiest cowboy in the west

It says, "In lieu of gifts, please consider a donation to the automaker of your choice." Invite!

"Do you have anything smaller?"

Driverless tow truck.

'Built in obsolescence: Mini with a wind up gramophone.'

No Carrot Sign (like the old 'no radio' signs).

"Got any new monster trucks?"

'If I were you, I'd leave the keys in the ignition and hope someone steals it.'