Chromosome Crusader T-Shirts

"Say, do you have time between all that DNA research to invent a non-smelly sock."

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

dog vs UFO...

'It finally took me thirty years, but I finally have one of every 3-D comic book ever made'

"Somehow, they get exempted from a lot of laws."

"I find it so stimulating to learn new software."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

'Well look, here come the hackers!'

Football anagram: Curse straw mat (Answer: Marcus Stewart.)

'We've got to upgrade our computer system. Downloading information on this one takes too long.'

Jerk Gene

'Here comes the new kid.'

"Please buddy, can you spare a carbon credit?"

Energy performance certificate nailed to wall exhausts employer.

It's a Dog's life

"Yes, I'm a superhero. I'm not attractive, muscular or charming because I work in the 'cyber crimes' division."

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 8

'My thanks go first to the Nobel Committee for this great honor, and to my son who encouraged me to keep my mind agile with word games, and puzzles.'

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

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'Just how much carbon are we supposed to offset?'

The dna double helix, with a human family taking the place of the dna rungs.

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

'Look out, it's a double edged sword. . .'

Louis Pasteur Caricature

'Good Cholesterol Vs. Bad Cholesterol'

'Happy birthday, dear -- it's a carbon offset!'

Hourglass earth - time running out

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

'Don't disturb your father for an hour he's busy doing the Five minute crossword.'

Net Zero Superstitions

'It's almost time to get the cross-country skis out and dust them off.'

"Hurray! We've solved global warming!"