Christmas Song Fan Gifts

Man sits outside an STD clinic thinking of the twelve days of Christmas.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Easter Candy Island.

Santa's wash day.

Punctuation Karaoke Night

'Egad! It's the ghosts of sanity past!'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

'My - I don't remember my second-grade Christmas play dealing with post-holiday depression.'

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

He Sees You When You're Sleeping

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

Christmas Dwarves

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

About Santa 2017.

Last week, stingy caf

'Thanks for the onesie!'

"Would it make life easier if I just ordered my presents online and sent you the bill?"

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

"I know when they are sleeping, I know when they're awake..."

Baaaa....humbug.