Christmas Movie Fan Pillows

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"I'm the spirit of the present Christmas but don't worry... in your case the appearance of the ghost of the future Christmas is redundant."

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

"Boy, this blooper reel from 'Manchester by the Sea' is a crack-up."

"Yes, we voted remain - how did you guess?"

"Anything but milk and cookies."

"There's gotta be a way to make money off this."

Filming Christmas

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

“He’s timid, very shy. I rescued him from some wacko who tried to steal Christmas.”

Santa's wash day.

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

Phil gets a head start on his holiday decorating.

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

"We can watch anything you want, as long as I don't have to keep my eyes open."

Rudolph's off-season side hustle

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

Father Christmas stuck on plane wing

"Well I don't know how they fly when I can't!"

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'Didn't I warn you not to have the vindaloo?'

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

"I love Boxing Day"

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

Rudolph's after-Christmas job

About Santa 2017.

"It suddenly occurred to me - what was all this giving, giving, giving all the time?! How about doing some taking for a change?"

"Our lawyers are adept at spotting dodgy clauses.."