Christmas Movie Aficionado Pillows

Santa Claus's sled runs into satellite dish on a roof thus messing up the picture on a TV in the living room.

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

The ghosts of Christmas yet to come.

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

"That's ridiculous. A red nose wouldn't work as a GPS system."

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

"Gesundheit!"

"Heavens above no, I'm not the angel of the Lord. I'm the landlord from the Angel. I wondered if you fancied a pint."

Bling Crosby.

Christmas is fun...but as soon as the holidays are over I'm heading down to Florida for the sun.

'One more thing -- My Dad says that if you bring me one more 'Alvin and the Chipmunks' tape, he'll rip off your beard and set fire to it.'

Elf and Safety: 'Have you got a seat belt on that thing?'

"Just answer the question, sir. Is it true that you're not planning to watch 'It's a Wonderful Life' this holiday season?"

Here's the idea - A Christmas 'feel good' movie with a slasher twist. The title, 'It's a wonderful knife'.

364 days a year jobless. Please help!

'His red nose turned out to be malignant...!!!'

Christmas-Plex

Christmas Fatigue.

"I'm the spirit of the present Christmas but don't worry... in your case the appearance of the ghost of the future Christmas is redundant."

'You know how 'method' Charles is . . .'

"Night before Christmas or no night before Christmas, I feel like stirring."

What really happened to the Virgin Mary.

"He had a list of women... He was sneaking out to their houses at night, giving them gifts..."

"I agree, Maria, it does seem like one big romantic TV Christmas movie. But, unfortunately, this is where I must kill you."

Lady walking past a sign that reads: "Happy New Year! Only 358 Shopping Days Before Christmas!"

"This is the time of the year when you really have to stay on your toes about being good."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

Outsourced Rudolf.

"You got a Christmas present, Vinnie. That means you're no longer on Santa's 'naughty list'. You know what that means, Vinnie..."

Bottom Of The Barrel Holiday Releases

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

"I have a Christmas Ghost emergency!"