Christmas Junkie T-Shirts

What do you wish for next year?

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

"We used up our planet's energy source and we're here to hijack yours. Where do you keep all your coffee?"

'Redneck Goldfish' Earl knew better than to watch Oprah while drinking.

Addicted to Facebook...lost internet connection.

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

Shopper in grocery store sees TV dinners marked daytime and prime time.

Mog The Week

"This is his fifteenth successive Olympics."

Excess Baggage: You never have to worry about finding your way around those humongous new cruise ships. Your stomach will lead you.

"There's more to life than beer and football...I just can remember what it is."

"We interrupt this advertisement to bring you another advertisement that has just been rushed to the studio."

Internet Cafe

Frank and Ernie's Poetry Corner. Robert Frost. TV Guide. I think I'll watch some late-night comedy

"Can't stop watching. That ribbon is amaaazing..."

"Say hi to your mother for me and tell her I'm happy her bypass turned out O.K

Holiday Gifts 2020

America's funniest investment scams

"What time is it?" "Half past World Cup."

How to get on talk shows by promoting your new book

'He's in training for the Olympics'

In other news, the world turned upside down today.

"'60 Minutes' is on."

Kathryn Morris

'What shall we watch - best security videos of 2013 or operating room bloopers, blunders and bleeps?'

Wall mountable TVs.

"Since you ask, when I'm through here I go home and listen to a bunch of mindless crap on TV."

'Kids, let's pause and give thanks to that higher power that keeps this family together...our internet service provider.'

"I see myself as a lot like Garbo, but very much a people person!"

"Remember me, Mister 'too much bacon is never enough?'"

"Honey, Clay Buchholz is about to cement a Cy Young!"

"Offering free Wi-Fi was genius."

"Let's give those new bulbs a try."