Christmas Enthusiasts Gifts

'As you can see, I've been targeted by advertisers.'

'On the outside I'm all ho-ho-ho. But inside I feel weak and shaky, like a bowl full of jelly.'

Reindeer looking on with fear as Santa counts down and elf if about to launch sleigh with a giant slingshot.

Santa running down the street after tow truck towing away sleigh and reindeer

Santa's Snowmen Bodyguards

'Well, that's us FINALLY paid off all the bills from Christmas last year.'

'Naughty or nice? Isn't that a violation of privacy disclosure rules?'

Christmas gift exchange - bah humbug

Shepherds visit baby Jesus. Joseph says: 'Oh, there's plenty of room at the inn, we're just downsizing.'

Ever vigilant, the restive Claus uses it to get an early start on the naughty and nice list.

Santa's office with 'In' and 'You'd better watch Out' Trays.

'Whoa! I guess we shouldn't have eaten those bean burritos before leaving the workshop!'

'I need tickets to...everywhere.'

'Are we going to run out of decorations?'

Geez... I didn't even know Santa had a hit list!'

'It's getting harder to have a niche business.'

"I'm the ghost of no-Christmas-for-you!"

'If you give me your email address, I'll put you on my mailing list.'

'The night before Christmas and there goes my last chance of getting research funding.'

Christmas Cat

"My dad wants me to have all the things he never had, and he never had a pony."

"I'll meet you back at the sleigh. I've just got to go powder my nose."

"My toy factory...it's completely imaginary."

The elf union is picketing Santa's House - 'Christmas just isn't the same since the union stepped in!'

Santa's Helpers: Keystone XL Pipeline feeds Middle Class Tax Cuts.

'Look! Santa Claus is downloading presents.'

'Santa has been and he's taken our telly...'

"Take it easy on the spray lube. It's pretty slick stuff!"

"Christmas day or nor, it was under the tree! How could you expect me not to peek?"

"Boy, this is gonna be a long night!"

Skinny Santa Claus munches on carrot, as obese Rudolph eats mince pie.

Twelfth Day of Christmas

'Santa sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been good, and he can find everyone's house with his GPS.'

Reindeer and sleigh on cinder blocks

"Look who found God."