Christmas Curator T-Shirts

"Ya know I'm seriously starting to get worried about you."

Paul Klee

'Sooner or later, someone at the party will hand you a sandwich and a glass of wine - then what?'

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

Shoe addict.

It's a call from Tate modern.

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

'Projectile painting.'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

A Snowman using a Pooper-Scooper to pick up his Dog's ice cube Doo Doo

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."

"I love these old decorations!"

'Number two. That's the art that offended me.'

"The new house is almost ready!"

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

"You won't believe this but I haven't a thing to wear"

'I don't know whether to put it in for the Turner Prize or go for the Poet Laureate.'

"He begged his wife and kids to join him in Tahiti, but he didn't mean a word of it, the bastard."

Caliologist

'A bed just isn't the same without a person in it.'

"Definitive." "Compelling." "Persuasive." "Upside down."

"That must be the artist over there."

The perfectionist.

Person carrying balloons and plants.

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

Appointments and Disappointments

'Santa is the delivery man, I'm the CEO. Do you know what a CEO is, Lisa?'

Happy Hog - Manet

Hat Boxes, in the Closet

"Smoked salmon, sir?" "I prefer to eat it, thanks."

"I could do that."

Francoise Gilot

"Wow! - An original Bacon!!"

Sculptor's chippings