Christmas Connoisseurs Pillows

"Every year it gets harder to maintain the jolly fat man persona."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

'Do you think that's wise?'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

Panettone

"I don't believe in you!"

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

"Whoa. There's a huge crack down here." "Tell me about it."

"Elfis"

Zoom Christmas

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!

'He's got your nose.'

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Filming Christmas

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

Mr Claus, tests indicate your blood is 95% milk and cookies.

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'So that's why I didn't get that train set? !'.

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"Yeah, a merry Christmas to you too."

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

"I noticed a few browns."

Meet Santa's entourage

Reindeer

"Actually, I think it's a cluster of SCUD missiles heading our way!"