Christmas Connoisseur Pillows

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

"I'm glad the holidays are over. They really had me shook up!"

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

One day in December...

Santa's landing crew.

Santa couldn't help it if Peter insisted on wearing his socks in bed.

In Royal Highness Definition

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

"Next up...is Christmas too commercialized? But first a word from 'Big AL's Xmas Emporium! 5 Santas, No Waiting!'"

Gift-Givers Cheese Block

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"I decided to go all out on the house decorations this year."

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Santa Claus's wife beats the soot out of his beard.

'Do you think that's wise?'

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

That one has all the batteries!

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

Flight attendant piloting Santa's sleigh.

"Here's the deal, boys. We need to see a little more bickering. We're doing a Reality Show."

'I'm the ghost of Christmas future. I'm hammered, can we do this later...?'

"I don't believe in you!"

'No room at the inn, baby born in a manger: It's gonna be a great story to tell at parties...'

Panettone

"No, you definitely wouldn't get Christmas Eve off."

Christmas Presents.

'He's got your nose.'

'Choose, Fenster

'Ok you two, where the hell is Dancer?!'

Sale on Bathing Suits, One Size Fits None.

"Your blood sugar levels are off the chart! Just how many Hallmark Christmas movies did you watch?"

Santa in the Sky: Happy Holidays!