Christmas Comicker Pillows

'They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"I'm sorry, but my costs were way out of control."

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"What did you just say? Did you just say 'Christmas'?!!"

Christmas tree exchange

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

"Maybe this year..."

"The other reindeer sent me back to the smoking section."

Hip hop Santa.

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

'I'm glad you came to me. Visions of ghosts of Christmas past, present and future are clearly delusions based on underlying psychological conflicts.'

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

"I finished my holiday shopping. I'm re-gifting presents I received last year."

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

Be careful how you unwrap it I think it MIGHT be his stool sample!

Santa's Second Stringers.

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

Of course, then there was Lester, the brown-nosed reindeer.

"I won't be needing you this year."

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

"You're only supposed to leave him one glass of sherry!"

About Santa 2017.

Where Yule Logs Come From.

"The fact is Santa, if that's your real name. You were caught inside the house, with a sack full of valuables."

"I was good. Why is Santa punishing me?"

A trap for Santa

"Just relax, take a deep breath and tell Mommy and Daddy which plate of brownies you left out."

Text Santa

"But. . . Don't you want Santa to fill your stocking?"

"I haven't been good, but I have good as a goal."

"No, that's not mine. Do you have one with a big red nose?"

'-and don't forget your mobiles tomorrow - we shall be texting Santa!'