Christmas Comedienne Pillows

"You're only supposed to leave him one glass of sherry!"

'You know who's been naughty and who's been nice? -- you're not using DNA evidence, are you?'

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

"I don't care who's naughty or nice anymore-I only keep track of who's crossed me."

Hip hop Santa.

"Actually, Sally, my name isn't Mrs. Santa Claus... It's Barb. I'm not defined by my husband."

"Sharp shooter, huh? Well, I was attacked by an ax murderer!"

"Maybe this year..."

'What do you expect? A red bulb burned out, and you're free till Christmas.'

If you ask me, pets shouldn't be allowed in the House of Commons...

It must be December again -- I just had a vision of sugarplums.

Your dad is a union man, isn't he?

A group of ladies fearful to leave their cab as the cabman has mistletoe on his hat

Santa's Second Stringers.

'Never mind the price, what the hell is myrhh?'

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

'Santas Ponzi Scheme'

'I'm not saying that global warming is a reality...'

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

'...So I figured with all of this free cooling why not install a data center?'

'Sorry Son, I might be the fastest animal on land, but I don't think I could catch the Gingerbread Man...'

'Big Issue!'

"Y' know Sir - Red really is your colour..."

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

Santa's Nightmares

'Number two - can you say: 'Screw the milk and cookies...where's the VCR?' In a cheerful, jolly voice?'

'Moon Jumper One, you are entering restricted Christmas airspace. ABORT!;

About Santa 2017.

Three Wise Women: 'Then at about six weeks or so you can probably expect a touch of colic...'

Santa emergency stop.

Free Chimney Cleaning.

Hand emerges from King Arthur's xmas pudding with a coin.

Men/Women/Santa.

Santa picks out a suitable light bulb for Rudolph's nose.

"Oh, yes, I've been good...relatively speaking!"