Holiday Comedian Pillows

Free Chimney Cleaning.

'Elton, I'm in a bind. The dry cleaners lost my clothes. Do you have a red velvet suit I could borrow?'

Santa picks out a suitable light bulb for Rudolph's nose.

Squirrel decorates its tail as a christmas tree

"No, the holy trinity is not Santa Claus, Kris Kringle and Saint Nicholas"

'We're not buying a turkey for Xmas this year. We've still got some left over from last year.'

'Twas the night after Christmas.

Christmas shopping.

Child running away with santa's beard.

Ineffective Turkey Disguises

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Gracie goes to get cookies for Santa, but Papi has eaten them all.

'Why couldn't you just give him a bucket and shovel?'

Claus 2.0

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Night of the Latkes

High security Santa's grotto

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Hiding the electronics.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

That one has all the batteries!

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

"Ninja bread men"

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"I don't think the turkey's going to be done on time. That's the dishwasher."

"How about if we just winter in hell?"

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

'I was an egg in the Easter play.'

Non-Denominational Carols

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.