Christianity Connoisseur T-Shirts

"Frankincense you fool...."

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Louis Armstrong

Archimedes statue with a lever

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

Turning Japanese: I really think so.

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"We evolved from asteroids"

"Please hold applause until end of dragon."

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

Birthday Cakes: From Around the World

Creation of Red Wine

Law School teacher.

Mea Maxima Cuppa

'Coffee must wear you out. They're always sleepy when they drink it.'

"How the hell is that supposed to feed us?"

The Cremaster Cycle

"You're never home."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Atlas with the earth, says: 'So then I thought, Why not just roll the damn thing?'

Scarpia's Palace

"By 'genius' do they mean the artist or the marketing department?"

'This year I'm deliverying everything FedEx!'

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

'Sorry mate. Your church doesn't meet the minimum building code.'

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

Music Student

"A pint for me and one for the woad!"

The Kali De Milo.

'Bloomsbury Group, members only'