Christian Humor Appreciator Pillows

Discount Church Mart

The reason Zacchaeus was up the tree.

'Holy-Kanoly' makes his infamous 'Leap-of-Faith' jump.

Giving Things Up For Lent.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

'Funny in my day they all looked like WInston Churchill.'

Pastor puts up sign on pole stating that he is 'serving' his 1,000th sermon.

"That's my boy!"

"Erm, I don't think it meant just before the ceremony!!"

Finger puppets in church.

'If you're a nun, where's your nunchucks?'

Eucharist

Jesus and the Peeps

'Now, where was I when the lectern collapsed?'

'I'm not sure about these, but I'll try them out on the focus group.'

"I think I'm ready to go forth and multiply."

"Gimme a break, guys, it's just until I get the hang of it."

Honk if you Love Jesus

"Sorry. I thought it was a typo."

Confession Ratings.

Vicar preaching at pulpit

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

"But why would anyone, especially the meek, want to inherit the earth?"

"Bible studies class? We're still writing it."

"How do you tell the Son of God He's got spinach in his teeth?"

"Guys, guys! Let's take this from the top. Who ordered the chicken nuggets...?"

"It's bad news Brother Thomas, he's decided to change the font"

"You should do a sermon on the dangers of stupidity."

'A little to the right, please, Father.'

'Oh, ick! -- I just stepped on a fish!'

'Hey, sorry about that! Here, let me pick you one without a worm in it.'

'Thanks for the thought but we can't accept lottery tickets.'