Chore Supervisor T-Shirts

"Hola...I was wondering if you need your lawn mowed."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Lawnmower

"Helmet, check. Harness, check. Knee and elbow pads, check. You may now push the swing."

Family working together

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

Yoga To-Do

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'I took her last time - It's your turn to take her for a walk!'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'

"Fred's a man for all seasons. The lawn still needs mowing but he's set for leaf blowing."

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

"Hey, the last thing I want to do is annoy you. That's actually ninth on my to-do list."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

"The last time we ordered take-out I was up all night doing laundry."

Cleaner being carried away on a magic carpet.

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

"It's your turn to throw out the dishes."