Chore Commander T-Shirts

"I want all of that done by the time I get home."

'Dinner will be ready in an hour -- Why don't you relax by mowing the lawn?'

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Lawnmower

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

'I don't understand: I lick the plates clean, but Mistress still puts them in the dishwasher afterwards...'

Family working together

'But you said to clean my room.'

Yoga To-Do

"Billy's room gets cleaned for free! The cleaning service uses it to train employees how to clean a hazardous waste dump."

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Fashion Update Dryer Sheets

'He's not here right now. He's out pumping iron.'

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

'Summer's over and it's time to fall in!'

Child doing the washing up

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

"She leaves wooden-handled knives soaking in the dishwater all night long. Your Honor."

"I want an instant replay of you taking out the garbage."

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

'When you've finished the washing up and you're certain you've cleaned absolutely everything... you'll always find another teaspoon.'

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'Why should I look forward to the weekend? Rake leaves, clean out the gutters, mend the fence, wash the car...'

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

"I woke up early, took a shower, got dressed for work then remembered I don't work today."

"Honest, Dad, somethin's wrong with the lawnmower." "You look fine to me. When you finish the lawn and pullin weeds feel free to wash the car and paint the house."

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

Cleaner being carried away on a magic carpet.