Chore Crusader T-Shirts

A housewife is looking at her dishwasher; the door is open, and looks like a drawbridge - men on horseback are emerging.

'I wish you had planned your retirement more carefully.'

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Looks like Harriet mixed her lights and darks again."

Lawnmower

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"It started as a crusade. Now it's just a commute."

"You'll have to forgive Roland. He still uses 'stomach' and 'abdominals' interchangeably."

Two Players both holding the same cue.

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

'But you said to clean my room.'

Yoga To-Do

"I finally got tenure by publishing a research paper funded by a grant about subsidies."

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Nervous Student

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'Not bad. Already 17 minutes into Saturday morning before I receive my first ultimatum.'

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

It's a Dog's life

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

"We've got a class-action suit if I ever saw one."

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Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

'How do you propose to repair the roof from down there?!'

'I made hundreds of copies to give to all the students in my school. By the way, the color printer is out of ink.'

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'

Cleaner being carried away on a magic carpet.

"Alien life-form or not, those dishes won't wash themselves up!"

'What's all this pet's rights stuff addressed to you?'

'...and when I did finally take out the trash, she locked the door behind me.'

"Ambitions... to make it to the other side."