Chore Dodgers T-Shirts

'I don't care if it is the 4th of July. You're not declaring your independence from your chores!'

"So...what's your 'feel it in my bones' forecast?"

"It never fails...as soon as it's time to clean up everyone leaves!"

'Harold, when was the last time you cleaned the pool?!'

'I don't see why I have to pick it up. I'm not responsible for the law of gravity.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

Examinations.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Family working together

'But you said to clean my room.'

"I'm returning home triumphant - do you need me to pick anything up?"

"Let me call you back, Lori. I'm binge-watching John clean the gutters."

'It's your turn to put the cat out.'

'We share the load - she cooks it, I eat it.'

"Don't you dare try to sneak out of this cartoon!"

'...so I said to Linda, 'I can't do yard work in the rain!''

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

"Do you have a one day a year membership?"

'Cute girl from philosophy. . . BBQ at Dave's. I wonder if she's going?. . . Flat meeting to talk about me not doing my share.'

"It's trouble for Chubby when Mitzi brings out the vacuum."

Walk dog, brush your teeth.

"My voices told me to just relax today!"

"Honest Dad, I was going to mow the lawn... But I can't find the lawnmower in here!"

"My doctor told me to avoid any unecessary stress, so I didn't open his bill."

Washing Instructions: Have Your Mom Do It.

"The dishes are done. You can come out now."

Mahout and his elephant on wash day.

"I'll do the dishes as soon as I finish learning how to play the piano."

The five stages of laundry 1. Denial I'll do it tomorrow. 2. Anger Why are there no clean clothes!? 3. Bargaining Ok! Who wants to help with the laundry? 4. Depression Can't. Do. It. 5. Acceptance

Desk plaque: 'Seize the nap.'

'...Then I swept down the staircase, into the ballroom.'

"Now where's that idiot hiding? He was supposed to fix the door."

Church of the Low-Carbs

Inner Sara Skips Out As Zoom Kicks In