Chord Connoisseur T-Shirts

"That request is physically impossible..."

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

Felix Mendelssohn

Archimedes statue with a lever

'Wash your hands, it's time for your piano lessons.'

Baroque Peacock

Piano Recital

"I only like their bad albums – the good ones are too commercial."

Mendelssohn Finds His Inspiration

'Not even close man - easy listening's around the corner.'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

Scarpia's Palace

'Incredibly Inexpensive Sound Engineers. Pretty Good Sound Engineers, 12 the price, 23 the quality. You'll hardly notice the occasional feedback.'

"Hey, would you mind taking a quick sculpture of me and my family?"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

B.B. King

Sir Edward Elgar

'Theaters from Hell' 'We have no sound engineers, so no there's not a good seat in the house.'

'I said, you're supposed to be in the underworld.'

Music Student

Edward Elgar.

"Welcome to the guitar family! Is this all of us? Heck, no! We're just the ones his wife knows about. You'll meet the rest later."

Propping up a profits chart.

Brahms and Liszt at Christmas!

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

Expensive greeting cards.

Sergey Rahmaninov

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

'Look Clara, I'm telling you for the last time, it's not me who's crazy. It's Eusebius.'

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

Richard Wagner's other Ring Cycle.

'It's not over till the slim, glamorous crossover lady sings.'

An Audio Technician's Pocket Knife

"No concert bookings for at least two weeks. Restringing..."

'Classical music, huh?...You mean like Elvis?'