Cholesterol Controller Pillows

' ... and a side order of statins.'

"With a heart I have to worry about cholesterol."

Good Cop/Bad Cholesterol

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

Now that you have a heart, you really should switch to polyunsaturated oil.

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

'Your 'bad' cholesterol levels are right off the chart.'

STRIP Hambone: Sucidal computer over company balance sheets

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

Extremely Practical Jokes.

Sawdust.

"If you order from our wellness menu, you get a side of yogurt with every dish."

'What about the cholesterol?'

'Advanced warning: High cholesterol 10mtrs ahead.'

"Maybe selling the cow for a bag of beans was a bad deal, but my cholesterol has never been better!"

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

"Well there it is in black and white gentlemen, we're in the red."

Patient sees smiling doctor and mean-looking doctor: 'Oh, I get it ? it's the old good cholesterol/bad cholesterol routine.'

Everything Deep Fried. . . Food Shaming

"My drone strikes are successful, Sir, but I keep getting trash talk from a 15 year old in Montana."

'You've had enough!'

'The thin person inside you screaming to get out seems to have cholesterol poisoning.'

'To show support for Daddy's low cholesterol diet, we'll all be eating porridge for breakfast.'

Accountant sings the blues

"I'll only be a few minutes more dad!"

'Your cholesterol is off the chart. . . Better cut down on the bacon.'

A diet high in cholesterol can be dangerous to your health.

"The best thing about my promotion? I'll be in charge of the thermostat."

'With my new heart I have to worry about cholesterol.'

'Good news! Your cholesterol is the very, very bad kind!'

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

The Walrus and the Spoilsport

'Hey! Who turned up the thermostat!?!'