Cholesterol Captain Prints

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

Even good cholesterol can develop an unhealthy sports addiction...

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

"Statins. I got statins. Who needs statins?"

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

'Good news! Throwing yourself at the mercy of the cholesterol seems to have worked.'

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

'Captain, there's someone pissing in the hold!'

Verbal Orders

What really happened on the EVER GIVEN

Good Cholesterol.

Solemn Reference is Made to Mr Bunsby

"Get those decks cleaned you swabs!..."

The crew can no longer tolerate Captain Bligh's ruthless splitting of infinitives."

Help! Trapped on a desert island cartoon...

'There are two types of cholesterol - the good type, then the one you've got.'

'I told you we should have unionized.'

"This is their way of reminding us how we're losing our best hope for Olympic Gold."

"Wait...Did I Say 'North'?"

'So it's true that dolphins help navigate.'

'Well, we still think you're a naughty boy, running away to sea like that!'

"Sorry, Captain, but we have to let you go. You just lack leader-ship skills."