Chocolate Gifts

'Look, half the work is done! All you need to do is fill in the top part so we can legally say the bottom part.'

'Stress relief techniques include meditation, slow breathing, and visualization of chocolate bars.'

'Here is the mood elevating medication that your doctor prescribed. The less costly generic version is called chocolate.'

As is often the case, many of the world's great discoveries are accidental.

'Chocolate never tasted as good as when I sneak a piece while dieting.'

Three wise men?! And not one of you bought chocolate!

'I was able to neutralize the stress hormone using chocolate.'

"I don't care what it says on the 'chocoholics' website I'm not able to prescribe chocolate mini eggs on the NHS."

"What filling would you like?" "Chocolate please."

'Thanks anyway, but I'm more interested in the goose that laid the golden egg.'

'Natural selection box'

'I've got it! -- chocolate-covered birth control pills!'

'Chocolate covered raisins, chocolate covered strawberries...is not what I mean when I said that fruit is healthy for you.'

"Carrots just didn't get me going anymore, so I switched to chocolate instead..."

'The doctor said I need more calcium in my diet, so I'm switching from dark chocolate to milk chocolate.'

Chocolate factory workers on the job - one with his face covered with chocolate - 'Your first day on the job...?'

'It's true that the flavanoids in chocolate can help reduce platelet activation and influence the balance of eicosanoids...but that is not a justification for me to prescribe you a daily dose of 'choco' mini eggs.'

'There is but one path to the inner peace you seek - chocolate!'

'Talk about budget cuts...mine's made of chocolate!'

The Last Supper or the First Easter?

'If you haven't got a low fat, organic, calorie free, ethically produced, free range option... I'll have the double chocolate cheesecake.'

'I'm afraid it's worse than we thought. The creamy nougat has spread to your head.'

'The doctor said I need more calcium in my diet, so I'm switching from dark chocolate to milk chocolate.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

There are extenuating circustances when you consider that the apple was covered in dark chocolate and rolled in macadamia nuts....I'm only human.'

"Naturally you have trouble getting in touch with your innermost feelings. You're a hollow choclate bunny."

"It's a fine for littering. You can't keep leaving these around."

'Sometimes you just need to heal your soul - that's why God made chocolate.'

"I know what is wrong with your rabbit, it is made of chocolate."

'Someone added chocolate chips to all my recipe files. Do you know anything about that?'

'What do you mean I don't get enough milk in my diet? I eat milk chocolate every day!'

Raphael's famous portrait 'Death by Chocolate Cake' oil on canvas, circa 1508

'I'm not sure what you did wrong but it must have been a doozy!'

"Not yet, one day I expect there will be chocolate covered statin tablets..."

"I want to report a mugging."