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Overdone bird jokes

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

"Do you think the birds like me?"

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

"The cookies are always stale."

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

Way too much anthropomorphising

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"...lettuce pray."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"Seats in all parts!"

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

Missing Parsons.

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."

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