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Overdone bird jokes

'What he said about judgement day is scary. Maybe we should find a good lawyer.'

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"Do you think the birds like me?"

"Your mom needs to know that you made it here OK, and your dad wants to know if you could use a few bucks."

'Your tweets have quite a following.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

How was I supposed to know she was under age?

People on the train reading each other's books - only it's the same as their own.

'Perhaps he's heard we're losing our churchwarden.'

'Next time the pastor asks if you know what his sermon was about, the answer is not about three hours.'

'Golly, is it that time already?'

Sermon - why our religion is really better than yours.

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

"I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon."

"Looks like you forgot to pack your lunch again Bob!"

'If the Lord had wanted us to use the metric system, there would have been ten apostles!'

"The cookies are always stale."

Way too much anthropomorphising

"Actually, they all look alike to me."

'Look, Brother Timothy - a sign from God!'

"Turn to page 12 for our non-binary singalong."

"But if you teach him to fish, you have fed him for a lifetime."

Sunday School. Strange --- Apples were forbidden, but apparently fried foods were okay.

"A reading from the ax of the apostles."

"...lettuce pray."

"We learned in Sunday School about how Cain whacked Abel."

The sermon was so boring the Preacher put himself to sleep.

"Seats in all parts!"

Missing Parsons.

Man sees line of priests entering Mass Transit Authority.

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

Rudolph unblocking a chimney

"That was a good sermon...but I'd have settled for a soundbite."

"I bit someone once. It tasted like chicken."